Sunday, July 12, 2015

Empathy vs. Sympathy




A) empathy
B) sympathy
C) empathy and sympathy
D) none of the above








A) empathy
B) sympathy
C) empathy and sympathy
D) none of the above




Confusing these two ideas is a common practice, but since this confusion regularly occurs, should its perpetrators face blame or escape persecution? Could someone forge a sound argument claiming this confusion as a faultless practice?

The confusion between "empathy" and "sympathy" possibly stems from lack of clear and precise definitions (most remaining ambiguous and general), modern and common usage fusing their meanings, pure laziness of thought to reach a discernible distinction, active choice (which always reigns as a better course of thought then laziness or accepting dictated discourse without questioning), or any combination of the afore mentioned. And when we throw "compassion" or "pity" into the mix, this confusion potentially could lead to lack of sleep, weight loss, disoriented rambling, big fuzzy bunny hallucinations, brain bleeds, or--in severe cases--attempts to perform Abbot and Costello routines as a one-person performance.

DENOTATION:

-path-: feeling, emotion (e.g. antipathy, apathy)

Empathy
Merriam-Webster: the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions; the ability to share someone else's feelings

Dictionary.com: the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another; the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself

em-(Greek/Latin): into, cover with, cause (e.g. empower, engorge, emphasis, embalm)

Sympathy
Merriam-Webster: the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else's trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.; a sympathetic feeling; a feeling of support for something; a state in which different people share the same interests, opinions, goals, etc.

Dictionary.com: harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another; the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions; the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.

sy/m-(Greek): together, with, same (e.g. symmetry, synergy, synchronize, synonym)

Another factor to consider, although we assume dictionaries are absolute authorities on word meanings, most dictionaries are only descriptive (meaning, they only relay how a word is used in a language) rather than prescriptive (meaning, they attempt to define and advocate for how a word should be used in a language.) So we once again confront an ambiguous, general, unclear, and imprecise resource for formulating a distinction for these two words. 

CONNOTATION:

To preface my argument I present these lists of some of their most common synonyms:

Dictionary.com

Empathy - affinity, appreciation, compassion, insight, pity, rapport, sympathy, warmth, communion, comprehension, concord, recognition, responsiveness

Sympathy - affinity, compassion; empathy, kindness, sensitivity, tenderness, understanding, unity, warmth, accord, agreement, alliance, attraction, benignancy, commiseration, concord, congeniality, connection, correspondence, feelings, harmony, heart, kindness, rapport, responsiveness, union, warmheartedness

Merriam-Webster

Empathy - Ol' Merriam and Webster do not offer any synonyms, only this note: "The word you've entered isn't in the thesaurus. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above."

Sympathy - commiseration, compassion, feeling, bigheartedness, charity, commiseration, compassion, feeling, good-heartedness, humanity, kindheartedness, kindliness, kindness, largeheartedness, mercy, pity, ruth, softheartedness, sympathy, warmheartedness

Assuming moderate eyesight and reading abilities, everyone should notice the interesting, yet troubling, characteristic of these entries--a high number of the same words are entered as synonyms for both empathy and sympathy! How could your common simpleton, even someone with my word and usage expertise, ever distinguish, decode, or separate the meanings of these two words? At least Merriam and Webster recognize empathy isn't synonymous with sympathy.

After conducting a semi-scientific survey of people in my personal, professional, and public circles, I compiled their knowledge and perceptions of these two words, concisely summarizing their responses below:

Empathy - the ability to understand or comprehend, or have literal experience concerning the same emotions of another person.

Sympathy - the ability to demonstrate compassion, kindness, or pity in regards to the emotional state of another person.

Although words, through common or flagrant usage, transform and gain various connotations, one aspect of their structures remain the same: their word parts. If we examine their word parts, their distinctions just might become clearer: Each of these words share the same "root" or "base", -path-, meaning "feeling, emotion"; empathy begins with em-, meaning "into, cover with, cause"; and sympathy beings with sy-, meaning "together, with, same." Considering their word parts, someone could argue empathy occurs when one person's tragedy or fortune instills or causes (extrinsic) another person to experience the same emotions; and sympathy occurs when one person's tragedy or fortune is shared, mirrored, or the same (intrinsic) as another person.

The above examination provides us with a simple distinction between these two words: extrinsic (empathy) and intrinsic (sympathy) characteristics; however, with the above distinction we ignore psychological and behavioral factors. When displaying empathy or sympathy, do people think differently? When displaying empathy or sympathy, do people behave differently?

The catalyst for this post, other than to educate my readers, stems from a recent discussion I had with friends concerning these two words. One of these friends claimed a person cannot demonstrate empathy unless this person has literally shared the same type of tragedy or fortune as another person; of course, I disagreed with my friend's sentiment, because I believe empathy solely rests on the ability to understand tragedy and fortune, unique situations, and to behave accordingly (literal experience not required.) Based on my friend's claim, most people experiencing tragedy or fortune will be alone in their experience, which doesn't bode well for "being there" for someone in their time of need. Also, emotions are experienced on levels, with some people demonstrating mastery over some emotions and lack of control concerning others. If one person loses their spouse from a job-related expectation (such as a police officer confronting a dangerous criminal or firefighter running into a burning building) or from old age, this person might cope with the emotions of this tragedy much better than someone else who recently lost a spouse unexpectedly (such as due to a sudden, random accident), but since they shared the same experience of loss, they automatically can show empathy towards each other? Or, since these situations have different details, is empathy even possible for either? In order for my friend's claim to hold true, too many variables need to coalesce, inevitably making empathy impossible, which I refuse to believe.

An aspect which every discussion about these two words ignore or choose to avoid is behavior. Does someone experiencing empathy behave the same way as someone experiencing sympathy? If empathy is extrinsic, than we would only center on how a person reacts (such as demonstrating understanding, acceptance, and/or tolerance or a lack of these behaviors) towards another person during tragedy or fortune based on how this person behaves (such as seeking comfort in eccentric places, uncharacteristic behaviors or attitudes, mood swings); if sympathy is intrinsic, than we would only center on how a person behaves (such as lending support, aid, or materials) towards another person during tragedy or fortune, discounting how this person behaves (such as denying a need for support, aid, or materials.)

Hmph. I think we've made progress...

So finally, I leave you with my perceptions of these two words:

Empathy:
  • is the ability to understand, accept, and/or tolerate the emotions caused by another person's tragedy or fortune, whether or not literally experienced beforehand;
  • can lead to, or encompass, sympathy, but sympathy is not required for someone to demonstrate empathy;
  • can lead to, or encompass compassion or pity, but compassion and pity are not required for someone to demonstrate empathy;
  • alone, is an extrinsic emotion, caused by another person's tragedy or fortune; 
  • focuses on how someone endures behaviors of another person during tragedy or fortune, demonstrating an understanding, acceptance, and/or tolerance of these behaviors.
Sympathy:
  • is the ability to feel, or share, the emotions caused by another person's tragedy or fortune, because the situations have literally been experienced beforehand;
  • lacks empathy, simply because thought or reason are not required to show sympathy;
  • is demonstrated by showing compassion or pity;
  • alone, is an intrinsic emotion, caused by a person's desire to aid someone during tragedy or fortune;
  • focuses on how someone behaves towards another person during tragedy or fortune, performing acts of compassion or pity.
I know my argument is much more complex than most examinations supplied throughout our published dictionaries and countless websites, but now you should have the ability to label the above provided pictorial examples confidently. 

Here's my evaluation:

The first picture demonstrates B) sympathy at first glance, but it possibly could also demonstrate C) empathy and sympathy if we could know what behaviors (understanding, acceptance, and/or tolerance) the bear demonstrated prior to the sympathetic hug: If the fox relates a tragedy or fortune to the bear, and the bear simply offers a hug, then B) sympathy is the only answer.

The second picture demonstrates A) empathy; the bear is demonstrating that it understands, accepts, and/or tolerates the foxes behavior, which could result in the sympathetic hug in the first picture.

Clear? If not, than I'm sure you can excuse someone who makes this mistake, indirectly or directly steering them towards reading this post in hopes they will accept a difference exists.

In advance, I thank you for resisting the urge to bash my argument with short, commonplace statements (at least you recognized the time and effort I've displayed--empathy) and for your well-wishing comments concerning my mental health (sympathy.)

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