Bad Conversation Topics When Surrounded by Throwable Objects 1

TOPIC: Is there such a concept as "correct" or "proper" grammar? 

Now, I bet you can understand why you better make sure there aren't any knives, scissors, broken pieces of glass, machetes, or pre-lotioned tissues just laying around if you plan to discuss this topic; I've witnessed this one causing blood shed, so maybe some plain tissues on an end table wouldn't be such a bad thing. I'll continue, but I'll tread carefully.

When we see a stranger, whether we admit it or not, we instantly form judgments. And not all judgments should be considered rude, mean, or ignorant, because "judging" is how we maintain function, make sense of the world (or worlds) we live in, and in some cases, remain safe and alive. Judging becomes abhorrent when, after presented with contrary information, we cling to our preconceived notions. So with this explanation in mind, here's a list of the elements we consider when we see someone for the first time without speaking to them (listed in order of importance, if you should one day care what other people think about you):

Perceived Race ; 
Perceived Age ; 
Appearance (Physicality & Wardrobe-Related) ; 
Behavior (If Socially Unexpected)

Even if you are the most open minded person in the world and not the least racist, ageist, pettily arrogant, or socially conformed, our minds immediately begin to judge someone based on cliched phrases, commonly dispersed beliefs, or prior experiences related to race, age, appearance, and, at times, behavior. We cannot help ourselves, so no one should feel guilty about doing so, because basically we all compare ourselves to others constantly--a mental "urination" contest, if you will. Productively, it leads to positive self-improvement; unproductively, it leads to (or in combination) snarky remarks, gossiping, or bullying (and yes, adults can bully.) 

However, the most important and lasting element we consider when we judge someone is their use of spoken language: "Oh my...he used a double negative. How deplorable!"; "She used 'me' instead of 'I' when stating she went to the store with Derrick!"; "He pronounced the 't' in 'depot'!"; "I think the only words this girl knows are curse words!" Language use can transform racial preconceptions; inconsistent age-appropriate advice or presented arguments; shabbily or oddly dressed, unkempt, obnoxious, or rude people into eccentric geniuses, experts, masters, or friend-worthy cohorts (it also applies contrarily to people initially viewed as eccentric geniuses, experts, masters, or friend-worthy cohorts, transforming them into bumbling idiots, know-it-alls, or social enemies.)

So is spoken language use something to view as "correct" or "proper" or is it merely a status symbol?

NOTE: Just in case you did not know, in the English language, "I" is supposed to be used in the subject--"Derrick and I went to the store," and "me" as the object--"The store clerk gave me and Derrick a triple-take," but since most people do not recognize this discrepancy, you could use them correctly and still be viewed as not using "correct" or "proper" grammar! How do ya like them apples?

I want to pause here briefly to add a disclaimer and conclusively present my argument: I do not disavow people who attempt or strive to use "correct" or "proper" grammar in their spoken language, but I do vehemently shake my head, vigorously wag my finger, and disdainfully grimace at people who judge others solely on their spoken language use, because ultimately, what is the purpose of spoken language? 

To COMMUNICATE! So if you--considering yourself a highbrow language user--comprehened the meaning and tone behind someone's--a lowbrow language user's--spoken language, it should not matter how said spoken language is presented to you. In contrast, if you use highbrow language with someone who is notably lowbrow, then your language use becomes utterly pointless and just as vulgar--you have to know your audience.

Language constantly changes. Even though we might never notice these changes during our lifetimes, they occur, more rapidly in this day and age because of the astronomical speeds and fervor of social media and the internet in general; so do not be so quick to judge someone's language use. Also, there is a big difference between "prescriptive" and "descriptive" language: "prescriptive" language is what the so-called experts (as if there is a panel of black-robed masters of language hoarded below the depths of Earth, raining down their gavels on "correct" or "proper" usage) prescribe, dictate, or impose you to use; "descriptive" language is how people, lowbrow and highbrow speakers, actually use language during social interactions and in written text. Which one do you think is more powerful?

NOTE: My argument also relates to written language use as well; however, adding this aspect of language would have grown this little post into a grotesque, literary celebrating monster who feeds on the overly strict, idea-killing grammarians. I will state this, though: There is a difference between academic, fictional, and casual written language; although, spotting the mistakes, unless they are blatantly obvious, in written language is much more difficult for people (lowbrow or highbrow language users included), because if the message or tone of written language is comprehensible, our minds subconsciously fill in the blanks, correct preconceived mistakes, and alter the flow of text.  

Here are a couple examples of how our minds alter written language:

Message and Tone: Comprehensible!

Ins't iretintesng taht yuor mnid siltl poescerss tsehe wrods?

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." ~ Nelson Mandela

"I don't know the rules of grammar...If you're trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think. We try to write in the vernacular." ~ David Ogilvy

"Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs." ~ Jack Lynch

"Encourage children to write their own stories, and then don't rain on their parade. Don't say, 'That's not true.' Applaud flights of fantasy. Help with spelling and grammar, but stand up and cheer the use of imagination." ~ Gail Carson Levine

NOTE: It's important for middle school and high school teachers (depending on the personal academic level of students) not to discourage or stall the formation of ideas by demanding high grammar standards; teachers should concentrate on concepts, messages, or ideas as paramount, because, just as with a sport or a game, with more practice, students will learn the rules.

"How many languages are there in the world? How about 5 billion! Each of us talks, listens, and thinks in his/her own special language that has been shaped by our culture, experiences, profession, personality, mores and attitudes. The chances of us meeting someone else who talks the exact same language is pretty remote." ~ Anonymous

" 'There is correct English: that is not slang.'

'I beg your pardon: correct English is the slang of prigs who write history and essays. And the strongest slang of all is the slang of poets.' " ~ George Eliot

So the next time you begin to judge someone as lesser of a person because they do not use "correct" or "proper" grammar in their spoken language, remember this post...you just might prohibit the inclusion of a good person or friend in your life.