"Simon Wilder" ; Joe Pesci ; With Honors, 1994
Simon Wilder: "Which door do I leave from?"
Professor Pitkannan: "At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions."
Simon Wilder: "Okay. Which door do I leave from, asshole?"
Let me quickly set the stage for the personal drama surrounding my first viewing of this film:
I was seventeen years old and deeply in love with the same girl since second grade. She had been out of school for over two weeks already because of required major oral surgery. The surgery caused her entire face to swell to a balloon, feeding herself through a straw swelling, and she did not let anyone see her in this state...anyone but me. I should have known from this situation that I was and would forever be in the "friend zone," despite the missed opportunity which presented itself that evening, but I felt special, loved even, that she trusted me to spend time with her while her face was bigger than her torso.
After she invited me over on Friday night, wanting to have contact with the outside world after spending so much time secluded at home, I walked to the movie rental place and rented With Honors. I knew nothing of the film, except for the fact that Patrick Dempsey played in it, although he only lent his services for a supporting character (my favorite sentimental movie is Can't Buy Me Love, so I was infatuated with anything he played in, e.g. Loverboy, Run, In the Mood, Happy Together).
We sat on her couch in the living room, watching the movie. During the times we had to pause the movie, retrieving snacks and stuff, she talked about prom and showed me the dress she was going to wear. I would have considered myself the luckiest boy in the world if I would have had the honor of escorting her to the prom, but I would never have asked her: she would have said "yes," because we really were good friends, but I wanted her to go to prom with someone she actually wanted to go with, not to placate her best friend...so I never asked her; however, the movie proved to be an excellent choice, captivating me almost as much as her lips and eyes controlled my days and nights, and prom talk was sidelined. We talked about the movie when it was over, both enjoying it immensely, and eventually got back around to talking about the prom. Her mother joined the conversation at this point, but I kept leading our discussion back to the movie because I was enthralled with Pesci's character, his provocative one-liners, his philosophy on life.
Later in life, and even as I write this post, I wonder if I used the movie to deflect the prom conversation simply because it hurt me so much not to ask her, wanting to be completely selfish and ask her, but trying to be the better man and let her have one night free of her love-sick puppy. Maybe if Pesci's character didn't appear so wise I would have concentrated more on prom? Who knows...
The real kicker is the fact, several years later, she revealed to me that she asked me over, showed me her dress, and brought prom up frequently because she did want me to ask her! Maybe if I was selfish that night, we would have lived completely different lives after that point...maybe we would be together today...
After I found out she wanted me to ask her to the prom that night, I couldn't bring myself to watch With Honors again until years later, constantly reminded of the big mistake I made in our relationship; however, one good thing came from watching this movie, other than Pesci's performance as the witty Simon Wilder, I learned I didn't want to live life with regrets and have continued to live with this philosophy the rest of my life. So if I would pass away this evening, I would know that I only have one true regret about my life...and if I was keeping score, I think I would consider myself lucky to have such a low tally.
I know it sounds cliche, but don't live with regrets, people...ask the girl to the prom.
And watch With Honors; you wouldn't want to have this one on your score card either. Trust me.
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